The Holiday History Series Presents: Festivus

In my continuing Holiday History series, today's holiday history lesson is on the rich cultural event known as Festivus. First practiced in 1997, Frank Costanza is the patron of this otherwise little-known, non-denominational holiday. It is celebrated on December 23 of each year. The reasons for the creation of this event are many and varied. The holiday was mainly started out of frustration with the commercialism and pressure surrounding the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season. Costanza is believed to have created the holiday after an argument with another man at a toy store one Christmas. His explanation as was given to his friend Cosmo Kramer, is as follows:

"Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!"

Holiday Practices:
"Airing of Grievances"

This is an opportunity for you and the family to gather around the dinner table and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the previous year.

"The Festivus Pole"

The centerpiece of the Festivus tradition, the Festivus Pole is a simple aluminum pole with no decoration. The reason the pole is left bare is because the patron Costanza found tinsel "too distracting." Additional reasons include aluminum's high strength-to-weight ratio.

"Feats of Strength"

During the feats of strength portion of the celebration, the head of the household selects one person to a wrestling match. Festivus tradition states that festivus is not over until the head of the household has been pinned. The person chosen to participate in the feats of strength may only avoid doing them if they have something important to do like pull double duty at work.

Additional Information:
When not in use, the Festivus pole is stored under stairs in a crawlspace or something equivalent to this.