I don't know about you, but my childhood consisted of three basic components: 1. sitting in giant tires, like you know, monster truck tires they put in playgrounds as a substitute for real equipment when the funding runs low, 2. My grandpa frequently testing the tensile strength of how well my ears were attached to my skull, and 3. STAR TOURS. One time I rode that shit like a good eight or nine times in an hour, each time subsequently prolonging my virginity another 2.2 years, exponentially. From the audio-animatronic R2-D2 and C-3P0 to the outdated videos of Duran Duran groupies boarding, the original Star Tours was and still is awesome. I think the biggest draw for me was that annoying RX-24 or Rex droid shit that pilots the ship and screams obscenities at the audience, and even goes on to expose himself during several of the more tense moments of the ride. I don't think it helped either that Rex is voiced by Paul Ruebens of Pee-Wee Herman fame....or that Rueben's actual penis was molded for the part which the Disney Imagineers then used as a model for Rex's "robotic arm." Anyway, George Lucas confirmed that they are working on an updated movie for the ride as well as updating the music in the que so that you are forced to listen to a remix of the hit Miley Cyrus song "Party in the USA" which has altered for the ride and will be called "Party in the Death Star." Other additions include replacing the old 70mm film projector with high definition technology as well as a "Journey to the Inside of Princess Leah" similar to the old attraction "Journey through the Human Body" which was located in Epcot. Not to be forgotten, the gift shop will be outfitted with permanent Star Wars geek analysts who will finally be able to clarify who shot first, Han or some guido. Idk. All in all I'm balls out, fuckin excited, and going to undoubtedly nut when this ride opens with the new update. Expect it sometime around 2011 maybe.
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